Sunday, March 25, 2007

Relatives

All my israeli (long lost) relatives have been organizing their torch and pitchfork bearing mob.Theyre even putting up signs around meah shearim asking for volunteers.I love my family(a family that riots violently together, stays together)


posted Thursday, 28 December 2006


For this shabos Im gonna visit some relatives.Iv been here for 3 months and havent visited that many of them. If I push it off too long, theyre gonna start clamoring for my blood.Then they kidnap me, tie me up with dirty garbage bags, coat me in soy sauce, and drop me into the shark tank.So Im going. Cuz soy sauce stains, and Id rather not have to scrub myself with steelwool to look white again(I have nothing against blacks, its just blacks that smell like chow mein dont have a chance in any hood)

5 comments:

teddydouglas said...

I bet you'd taste so yummy in soy sauce!

doodlehead said...

i dont think sharks r picky.

shaina said...

I'm thinking of something clever to write, but I'm blanking. One thing I will tell you is that there's a simple way to appease all your cousins at once. Either make 50 clones of yourself, or hire 50 friends, and tell 50 relatives that you're coming for Shabbos. Send one of the clones (or friends posing as you) to each relative this Shabbos, and BAM! You've just made sooooo many people happy, and that's 50 more weeks you now have open to you to do more exciting things like go to Kfar Tapuach and that other unmentionable place where you'll get to see rockets.

ix said...

the friends might not work, cause they dont know the details of great aunt chava's divorce, or who married cousin shelly's neice or why.

doodlehead said...

thats ok, cuz I dont either. For the stuff that I should know, like my moms name or my grandpas address I can give a quick rundown before shabos.