Friday, May 15, 2009

How to hack into the department of defense and override their computer systems without getting caught

Yes, its possible. A little birdy let it slip to me that the password of today just happens to be "H1N1 is for the pigs". To the pentagon pencil pushers: prepare perilous plight platitudes, people plunder panic.

(the above is simultaneously a test to see if the country has improved its security since last time I checked, and an attempt to rally those How To sites to fill in the information that seems to be lacking on google's all inclusive search engine.)

In other news, it seems the word that I created a while ago "goorit" was added to a dictionary.

A measure of time equal to 60 hours.

It is often easier or more accurate to speak of goorits than to say "two or three days" or "about half a week".
"I'll come back and pick up my order in a goorit. Can you have it ready by then?"

"Minutes are to seconds as goorits are to hours."
Thanks to whoever emailed me about it, and whoever added it. Its quite inspiring to see that the English language evolves to fill its needs, and its even cooler to be a part of it.

The updates are slow, mostly due to me bouncing around, having fun, and occasionally getting in trouble with the law. If that bothers you I suggest you write to your local congressman to relax gun restriction and other pointless laws a bit. If that letter goes against any of your morals or beliefs, you can try asking for internet access in prisons for the inmates. This way if I ever end up in jail (well obviously thats pretty far fetched, they'd have to prove to a jury of my peers that I am indeed guilty of something, the charges would have to be for something that would involve jail time, and a judge would have to be willing to sentence me. All of which is highly unlikely. Not to mention that they'd have to catch me first. But if all the above actually happened on some alternative universe, perhaps one where people were logical to some extent) then I'd be able to update from behind bars. If you are still worried about prisoners having access to internet (you're some sorta sadist or something?) , or maybe you just don't like writing letters, at least bake me a cake. But no file. Not until you've sent cakes every day and they stop checking the cakes. They have x-ray machines these days. Remember that. Also, I like chocolate, with frosting.