Friday, May 15, 2009

How to hack into the department of defense and override their computer systems without getting caught

Yes, its possible. A little birdy let it slip to me that the password of today just happens to be "H1N1 is for the pigs". To the pentagon pencil pushers: prepare perilous plight platitudes, people plunder panic.

(the above is simultaneously a test to see if the country has improved its security since last time I checked, and an attempt to rally those How To sites to fill in the information that seems to be lacking on google's all inclusive search engine.)

In other news, it seems the word that I created a while ago "goorit" was added to a dictionary.
goorit

A measure of time equal to 60 hours.

It is often easier or more accurate to speak of goorits than to say "two or three days" or "about half a week".
"I'll come back and pick up my order in a goorit. Can you have it ready by then?"


"Minutes are to seconds as goorits are to hours."
Thanks to whoever emailed me about it, and whoever added it. Its quite inspiring to see that the English language evolves to fill its needs, and its even cooler to be a part of it.

The updates are slow, mostly due to me bouncing around, having fun, and occasionally getting in trouble with the law. If that bothers you I suggest you write to your local congressman to relax gun restriction and other pointless laws a bit. If that letter goes against any of your morals or beliefs, you can try asking for internet access in prisons for the inmates. This way if I ever end up in jail (well obviously thats pretty far fetched, they'd have to prove to a jury of my peers that I am indeed guilty of something, the charges would have to be for something that would involve jail time, and a judge would have to be willing to sentence me. All of which is highly unlikely. Not to mention that they'd have to catch me first. But if all the above actually happened on some alternative universe, perhaps one where people were logical to some extent) then I'd be able to update from behind bars. If you are still worried about prisoners having access to internet (you're some sorta sadist or something?) , or maybe you just don't like writing letters, at least bake me a cake. But no file. Not until you've sent cakes every day and they stop checking the cakes. They have x-ray machines these days. Remember that. Also, I like chocolate, with frosting.

19 comments:

Ben-Yehudah said...

1. Indeed.

2. Life's rough it seems,...and yes you are correct: I'm jealous.

doodlehead said...

jealous of wat?

Ben-Yehudah said...

Your life, of running around and having fun....

doodlehead said...

i dont live in a hood even remotely as cool as yours.

Ben-Yehudah said...

Hmmm....we need to talk.

I won't get into here, but I announced officially to the noisy neighbors and the apt. manager that I'm outta here,...as soon as I find a place. K-Rebbe already knows.

doodlehead said...

were r u headed?

Ben-Yehudah said...

Hopefully JM, but of course, it's expensive.

We shall see.

doodlehead said...

good luck!

Anonymous said...

I HEREBY DECLARE FOR ALL OF CYBER-SPACE TO HEAR; I WILL NOT PAY YOU ANY CONJUCAL VISITS.

In other news; I find it hard to believe there are actually twelve unsuspecting members of what we call society today, who can pass as 'peers' to serve as your jury so... you get to fight another day, shotgun and all.
(There, I commented, now stop calling me.:p )

doodlehead said...

im actually gonna call rite this second. consider urself warned.

Anonymous said...

For the record, let it be known you called me twice.

doodlehead said...

the 2nd time was to leave u a message. anyway y didnt u pick up ur phone? or at least call me back.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you point out I spelled conjugal wrong?

doodlehead said...

i gave up correctin ur spelling. also is seems getting hold of u on the phone seems 2 b quite a challenging task as well.

Ben-Yehudah said...

Conjugal visits?

Is there something you're not telling us?

doodlehead said...

nothing other then i have some frends with weird senses of humor. I think u were aware of that tho..

Ben-Yehudah said...

Ah.

Yes, indeed, you do.

Anonymous said...

Ahem.

Studies show, that my sense of humor is used as the control group for humorous experiments. It hovers right above the 50% mark. It is also, NOT AT ALL WEIRD.

Thanx for listening

Anonymous said...

And I have faced it. Let's discuss this question.