Friday, December 2, 2011

Doodleview

I know. I must update more. Here is a real update, full of my opinion on lots of important and substantial issues that you can quote from me when I run for president. (Just a few short years left until I'm old enough) You may know them however its still fun to see it in writing. My opinion on:

Politics- Democracy introduced a novel idea to the world. Now, not only can you get screwed by politicians, you can actually CHOOSE which ones you want to do the screwing.

Religion- Theres just no way mere humans will ever figure out how to do things right. Without the aid of an authentic divine source, (such as the torah) man will continue to blunder about in the dark creating nonsensical ideas, laws and societies doomed to faults and failure.

Gays- How a poor substitute for the real thing ever got so much acceptance with people claiming not to have any mental deficiencies is beyond me.

Exercise- Treadmills and other exercise equipment are over priced clothing hangers. If you want exercise get outside into the real world and climb up cliffs for a month or two.

Blogs- Nowadays, every jerk thinks they can have an opinion, even if they don't.

Sports- Those that play, fail to impress me. (If you want to be a real athlete see 'exercise' above.) As for the fans, you guys get your butts off the couch and go do something for a change. Enough of this vicarious exercise.

Movie Stars- People who idolize people based on their being in a motion picture need to search for a more productive hobby. As for people who are in motion pictures; either either need to learn how to act or they also should search for a more productive hobby.

Music- I like it.

Luxury automobiles- Hey, I enjoy a fun drive as much as the next guy. I don't necessarily understand people who plunk down crazy sums for a vehicle, that although it drives quite fast they neither exceed 55 mph nor explore the handling capabilities. If they want their friends and enemies to know they have extra money to spare, whats stopping them from opening a charity fund or something?

Video games- See 'sports fans' above.

Clothing hangers- I'm actually quite impressed with that invention. So simple and yet so useful. Bravo. Keep up the good work.

I gotta run now, but if you desire to hear my opinion on more feel free to add anything.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Behold!

Yes, an update. Just when you thought the blog was dead, rigor mortis set in, the will read and fought over already and the finishing touches of the plaque with little red lights done. Along comes a post, and zombie-like cracks open the coffin and crawls its way to the surface. Dirt and grass roots caked along the side and dirt filling its ears and other orifices. It straightens up and shakes off some spiders as it shuffles forward, arms straight ahead. Searching, seeking out a victim, from the land of the living.

Its been a long time since I blogged. Much has happened but alas much has been forgotten. I should attempt to fill in the blanks but that would be like a man on a desert island trying to write his memoirs with his pen and paper that he made sure to pack in his fanny pack. Noticing that his fanny pack rests comfortably at the bottom of the ocean with his pants and cans of tuna, he tries using coconuts to record his magnum opus for posterity. When that fails miserably he ends up with the old fashioned notches in the tree to record how many days and a crude "bob wuz here" scratched with his fingernail and -when that cracked -toenail. I'm in the same boat (pun, although corny, intended) as Bob because my memories that were unrecorded by this blog are lost in the same place where his fanny pack is. Instead of mourning the past or resorting to mere lines on the trunk of a tree I shall update today as if I have never missed a day:

Although it seems like I never have a second to breathe, I took it easy today. Went shopping around Jerusalem, caught up with some old friends. I have a flight to catch tomorrow night to Ukraine. Where I will end up I don't know. I may just miss the flight intentionally. Time will tell and planning is for other people. We shall see....