Monday, June 15, 2009

Fighting Swine Flu The Easy Way

Sleep. Thats the easy way. I don't think there IS an easier way than just sleeping. Thats what I did. I slept for two days and when I awoke my swine flu was gone. I'm sure theres gonna be a vaccine to allow your immune system to do what it was about to do any way, or perhaps some sorta natural healing process, involving copious quantities of strong smelling herbs applies to various limbs and orifices, but where I come from sleep is considered the easier alternative. Also there are no side effects. Nothing permanent or noticeable anyway. I do recall a quite vivid hallucination in which I struggled with three angels for possession of my blanket while they beat me in the face with their wings and I attempted to get warm, but I think that was a result of the 103 plus body temperature, not the sleeping cure. Sleeping seems to be the safe, affordable and mildly entertaining way to beat swine flu. Good luck.
(the above statements were not evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. If those tushy faces disagree with any of the above then they obviously need extreme help with their reading comprehension as it is quite obvious that nothing in the above is intended to diagnose, prevent, mitigate, treat or cure the 2009 H1N1 influenza virus. And furthermore, I stand behind my assessment of the FDA being tushy faces, and I'd like to amend that I feel you guys are GIANT tushy faces. You no longer deserve the regular tushy face status any longer. Grow up a bit, you giant tushy faces.)