Tuesday, October 30, 2007


Halloween doesn't really happen in Israel. At least I've never noticed it happening. It could very well be in a little alley somewhere, a few little kids are busy TP'ing the garbage cans, and bumming candy off the homeless guys. I just never noticed it happening. The past few years that I was in the US I dressed up and went trick-or-treating on Halloween. It was unbelievable how much candy I made. I'm still debating going around Israel. I'm sure they know what trick-or-treat means, and if they don't I'm sure a bottle of shaving cream and a lit paper bag of dog poop would jog their memory a bit. I'll probably end up with a bag full of bamba and bissli though.

In other related news I have decided we are not a technologically advanced people after all. We just pretend to be. The proof is in our cars. The fact that there is that hump in the backseat, and nobody can figure out how to get rid of it, means that we have a long way to go in automobile development. Forget hybrid, and vegetable oil. First figure out a way to have the person in the middle get his feet off the dashboard. If you don't know what I'm referring to, try feeding your toes to a venus fly-trap, in the name of science. That will clear things up a bit. Now back to you in the studio...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Cleaning and Carlebach

Its been a while since theres been anything resembling the usual state of mess around my apartment. Over sukkos we were graced with quite a few crashers who needed a place to sleep, along with their luggage (for the few that actually came along with luggage.) As a result we havent seen the floor in any room in over a month. For no apparent reason, my roommate had his motorcycle parked in the middle of my bedroom. Which besides for being a great conversation piece, also added much to our interior design, and the headlights were awfully useful whenever we had a black out, while the rear view mirrors were perfect for shaving. Its also a better place to chuck clothes onto, it beats the floor only cuz its neater when its hanging on a motorcycle then piled up a couple of feet high on the floor directly, and cuz motorcycles don't try eating things you hang on it. All of our couches were full, and we had quite a crowd over the last buncha weeks. Now its starting to dwindle down, homeless guys have been finding places to live, lost guys have been finding themselves, and we are cleaning, well not actually cleaning, (the mess makes it more fun, and easier) but cleaning our basement. Our basement is a dark dusty place, used as storage by someone nobody knows for trash. We are cleaning it out to use as a combination; bar, jam session room, place to chill and if necessary a place for some homeless to crash. Its a lot of work but if we finish, I get to be bartender.

Last night, in honor of R' Shlomo Carlebach's yartzeit, we had a kumzitz in the old city. At first it was just me and two other friends with guitars and one on the bongos, but then we were joined by a fourth guitarist we met on a rooftop. Then we moved the party to below ground level, and ended up having quite a large crowd. We were joined by lotsa singers, and tons of people stopped to listen. Everybody was clapping along and enjoying the music.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


I've been really busy lately so I haven't updated my blog in quite some time. If you were clicking refresh holding your breath the last couple of weeks, would you like a burial or cremation? If you were miraculously revived by the expert hospital staff, send them a gift or something nice to show your appreciation. The truth is I'm not so sure what exactly I was doing since the last time I posted, cuz it was tons of stuff. Some of the things I was busy with (in no special order or significance) consisted of but not limited to: Brewing new beer, learning how to yodel, playing lotsa guitar, brokering drug deals, going to simchas,enjoying opera, being a spiritual advisor, learning torah, partying, spreading joy and happiness, writing a sefer, and a book, and a screenplay, traveling, watching tv, meeting old friends (old as in from years ago that disappeared off the face of the planet not old as in 'oyy vey my arthritis') keeping world peace, (in my pocket and jingling it around every once in a while to listen to it scream) I didn't actually sleep much the whole time. I wanted to experiment to see how long I could go without sleep, especially since sleep wastes so much time and theres never enough time to do everything. So I ended up going a few days at a time without sleep, then sleeping for about four hours, then repeating for a total of about eight hours a week. It was fun, and I managed to save lotsa time to do things that I dont even remember what it consisted of.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Quick Update

Its official now. I missed my flight. Originally I was planning on getting to the airport and trying to sneak on to a flight going somewhere else then home, like
Australia, but that didnt work out either. (stupid security people ruin everything) So I ended up missing my flight. Now I'm in Israel without a return ticket.