Friday, October 31, 2008

Back within the grasp of uncle sam

and his tight knuckly fingers(for now). I tried to ignore the airport to make it go away. Everyone knows that if you ignore something eventually it goes away. Without an airport I'd be forcing myself to stay in a country other than the one I type this from. Unfortunately, the common problem with airports is that they are large and noisy and quiet hard to ignore, especially when you are sitting inside it waiting for your flight. Not to mention that the planes are rather hard to miss.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Holy Land

I just landed in Israel. Ukraine was tons of fun. While I was there I toured the country, learned to read and write Russian and was kidnapped and tortured for a few days until I managed to escape- it was awesome. (Thats one of the longer stories, if I write a book, maybe I'll include a chapter )
Sukkos in Israel is always a barrel of fun. The kind of barrel that contains you, two cats, a parakeet and a drunk porcupine. Rolling down a bumpy hill during a tornado. With a dozen eggs in your pocket. Some ketchup on your face. And a smile.

Monday, October 6, 2008


I'm in Ukraine right now. For no reason. A friend of mine was like "Dude, lets go to Ukraine!" And I was like "Ok." So we bought tickets and two hours later grabbed a backpack and hopped on to a plane. (and then we hopped off. It was the wrong plane. Then we hopped on the right plane. But with the other foot. Hopping that much is real painful. Especially up and down stairs. And escalators. And over baby carriages that you were 100% sure were empty, until the mother angrily threatens to remove your head. And shes not kidding.) I'm probably gonna be here for a week or so. But who knows. Planning is for the kind of elderly people who don't like skateboarders and are very vocal about it. So far I've been here for a day. (Yom kippur in Ukraine should be a change from last year, when I spent it in a desert.) To those of you trying to contact me my Ukranian cell phone number is (If dialing from USA first dial 011 380) 63 240 7950. (If you're werent trying to contact me those numbers are the combination on a top secret swiss vault that contains a delicious carrot blueberry pie. Shelf life approximately a month. Find it and feast, or be doomed to live a life with the fact that you blew a chance to open the safe before it spoiled.) Thats all for now. Nazdiravyeh.