posted Monday, 17 July 2006
I'm sure everybody knows about the rocket attacks in Israel lately. (if u dont I'l tell u: theres rocket attacks in Israel) Innocent people are getting hurt and killed and its not a pretty scene. You probably remember my views on how to end the conflict http://headofdoodle.blogspot.com/2007/03/ending-all-strife.html, apparently the Israeli government doesnt read my blog.
Today I'm asking all people who live in Israel who read my blog, to please join me in a nonviolent (for the most part) protest to the rocket attacks. I'm gonna be calling up my little brother whos in Israel to get him to recruit his whole yeshiva to join in my plan. All you need is a 50 pound sack of potatoes, 2 screws,a little bit of wire, a pvc pipe (thats the white plastic ones) a battery and a can of spray deoderant. Sounds familiar? For those of you who've done this before youre probably starting to identify this as 'the potato gun'. Its a very simple (and fun) toy. What you do is jam the potato down the top of the pipe, then you spray the deoderant in the bottom,and seal it with a screw on cap. You have the screws drilled in face to face at the bottom with the battery set up with a switch, that it will cause a spark to jump between the screws, which will ignite the deo, and propel the potato at a very fast speed, usually very far (depending on where you aim it, do not ask about the incident involving a sparrow, an elderly lady crossing the street, a traffic light, and my potato gun)
So the protest that I ask you to join, is that we should unleash a shower of potatoes on those people who dare rain rockets and missiles on our nation in Israel. Its non violent, because even if it actually hits someone it wont do much more then raise a bruise, and it sends a message because they will have splattered potatoes, and potatoes splattering where ever they go. Thank you all for joining me, and I would be really excited if the headlines tomorrow scream "mysterious rain of potatoes take forecasters by surprise" or "settlers dont take anything from anyone, and blast spuds not scuds" or "Muhammed Musah Zerqwirdi al Vernaskimi Bimaltiutyi claims flying food is what caused him to accidentally drop his cousin Abdul Ahmed Ali Samah el Msallam Saliyh Awda into the cement mixer, officials arent buying it." or "Muslim extremist lay down arms, because of 'allahs potato attack" or "potato kugel prices skyrocket, PM declares national emergency" or "angelina spotted feeding a giraffe somewhere in africa, while brad looks on" (ok, not the last one, but you get the idea)