Sunday, March 25, 2007

In a room filled with blind people the one eyed man

can blow into everyones ears, poke them in the ribs, and laugh hysterically when they swat at him

posted Friday, 24 November 2006


Last night something rather boring occured. Since I am doing my best to update often youre gonna have to hear about it. (if youre one of those people who dont like reading boring things, head immediately to the nearest store and purchase yourself a tiddleywinks game, maybe that will amuse you. Dont even finish this paragraph. Just go.) One of the guys in my apartment's button fell off his shirt. So he borrows a needle and thread and gets started.An hour and a half later he's still holding three seperate items, a needle, a shirt and a button.Unsure which items are supposed to be put together,and which do the putting together.Thats when he calls on me to rescue him. "Do you know how to sew on a button" he pleads, on his knees clasping his gift offering in his outstretched hands. Luckily I happen to have that incredible skill at my disposal. Not because I went to years of courses on the topic.Not because a very old and wise man with a long white beard sat with me in the desert with a spool and a pile of buttons, chanting. Simply because I looked at a button, examined those 4 cute little holes, and behold "maybe if a thread goes in and out of those holes a couple of times, the button will stay ON!" So I engage in this complex process(a bit like brain surgery, just theres no threading a needle in brain surgery till after your done), and some more guys come in to watch. ("dude check it out, he knows BUTTONS") Everyone is watching with bated breath, cheering for their favorite team. (me, the shirt, or the needle) After about 3 minutes, when I'm done and everybody finishes with their clapping and throwing confetti off rooftops (although that probably was just some dirt falling after getting loosened from all the cheering and clapping) one guy tells me that one time he attempted sewing on a button himself it took almost four hours and it kept on getting on backwards and upside down and it didnt stay on. Then another guy confidentially informs me that he knows how to sew buttons also, but he's not gonna tell anyone, cuz he wouldnt have a moments peace, everyone would be lining up with their buttons. I wonder if everybody else was just pretending for the same reason, or they really dont know. Didnt they ever go to yeshiva? Its not that hard to do buttons, is it? I'm gonna have to investigate. I'l keep you posted. (or I wont- if you guys find me dead with a knitting needle thrust in my heart you'l know what happened.)

6 comments:

trix said...

yah, those upsidedown buttons can be really annoying

doodlehead said...

u have experience with them?

step said...

yo im sorry i missed u on friday but it was only a minute. u know what they say, one minute is like 60 seconds. anyway i know how to sew anythig just give me thread and i will sew you a shirt. so i will see your blog next week when i am by a computer.

trix said...

obviously not when I sew them on. I am an expert sewer. but when you give those buttons to someone else to sew, tut tut, some people don't know the top of a button from the bottom

shaina said...

woah, since when did doodl become a balebuste? does he cook, too?

doodlehead said...

step- heres a thread. go 4 it.(i bet u wouldnt admit u can in yeshiva) trix- i got it right. yay 4 me. who woulda thunk shaina- that would depend what u call cooking.