posted Thursday, 13 July 2006
Its weird, I go for days without eating a normal meal. I've had days were all I had was a carton of eggs and a full chocolate cake late at night. Thats it. You'd think that I would be used to fasts. Its all in the mind (there is nothing that isnt, as I've said many times in the past) The problem is when you think about the f-word. (You know what I mean, pull your mind out of the gutter, and put it in a permanent press spin cycle, wouldya?) Nobody ever notices the food in a movie. Its always something thats just there to make it more realistic.For example brad pitt is commonly munching on snacks throughout movies, because that makes him look more like the part he's trying to portray. But food is just food , its not a big deal. When your watching a movie on a fast day, all you see is opening credits, followed by a resturaunt scene in which waiters walk by with plates of really good looking fo*d. Then the main characters bite into their really good fo*d, youre completely oblivious to the 'important dialogue' going on around the fo*d.Next you completely miss the scene where one of the main guys gets bumped off, and the cops are having a high speed car chase. You do notice the half eaten donut on one of the cars dashboards, and the cup of coffee sitting next to it. Then theres a really emotional scene involving the widow crying and her friend comforting her, but your just looking at the tray of chocolates on the table. Somewhere in the backround you hear the sounds of breaking glass and 2 women shrieking, but youre trying to see past the masked intruder,into the kitchen." What could be in that big steaming pot? Could it be soup. I hope its chicken. I like chicken soup, but if they put potatoes in it I'll just scream." Then when he has them duct taped up in the back of his van , your frantically looking around for anything, anything that looks edible. (not for anyhing that cuts duct tape, let them rot in their duct tape, what do you care, you want food)"is that a candy bar on the floor? no its a knife. forget it, why are they trying to pick up the knife there are more important things to look for now"
Then flash to scene at headquarters. Chief looks up from a huge cup of coffee, barks something at officer in the office with him. All you see is the steam rising rising rising (gosh, it like doesnt end) from the cup. Then the scene changes to bad guys meeting in a strip bar, "hey somebody get her out of the way, I'm trying to see the table .hey, move! just got a glimpse of some sort of steak dish, hey get those out of my face, they're up to dessert!" Ok I'll skip the rest of the movie, we'll fast forward to the end (we dont want to be stuck here for a couple of months reading about the f-word do we? especially when fasting) Then theres the last touching scene where the bad guy and good guy have a little talk/fight, with the girl in the backround, and when the good guy wins and gets the girl and everybody is happily ever after, thats when your stomache really starts to grumble. You just took your mind off f**d for a whole movie! (wasnt that the point?)