Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Public Service Announcment

Ok its not really public, and its not much of a service, but its sort of an announcment. just deal with it.

posted Friday, 22 September 2006

To all those really nice people who send me thousands of txt messsages daily.

After my cellphone company raised the prices a while back on text messages, I started getting all of those 'please daven for shprintza ben chaim sara, dont break the chain' messages, and all those real funny jokes like 'why did the gum cross the road, cuz it was stuck to the chickens foot'. Its obvious that the cellphone company started the fwding cuz they want more money. All theyd have to do would be to send it to one of those guys that always feels he has to fwd anything in his inbox (even "are you finished in there? theres a long line and Im gonna end up going in my pants.") to his entire contact list, and instantly they make a couple of hundred bucks(or more depending on how many people still feel threatened by "dont break the chain") I didnt mind though, occasionally I got a good joke that would make me crack up in middle of shul, and I would often actually daaven that people shouldnt get sick, (I had to shell out like 50 bucks a month in refuah shlaima text messages. Who wouldnt daven after that?)

I would like to ask all those wonderful people who havent sent me the rosh hashana text messages yet to kindly send them to your cell phone service provider (if anyone deserves to be swamped with witty messages its them) This also goes for anyone who sent me already and has some more pearls of wisdom to share. I thank you for the 349 times I have got chsima vchisma tova (in about almost as many different variations in spelling) the good year wishes,the sweet year wishes, the wishes to stay safely out of prison, the complete lyrics for dip the apple in the honey song (the guy who started that one really knew his stuff) and yes everyone I'm mochel you,although theres nobody in the world who has actually done something to me that I actually remembered for the length of time that I could hold my breath. Why would I respond to any of the'R u mochel me' messages? If you really fooled yourself into thinking you have "said or done anything that may have hurt me" then you should probably give me a call, wouldnt you say? If I felt I'd wronged someone I'd call them (call. I said call. remember that) theres no need to inform me about how generously you are being mochel me in txt mssg langwge.

I hope everyone has a good yom tov. (if u want a personal good yom tov wish give me a call, my company policy this year is "let everyone else do the calling" this goes for people like you-the one who leaves voice mails only during the wee hours of the morning when I am fast asleep, attacking me for never picking up my phone, and trying to compete with a better rapper, sorry sonnyboy we'll battle whenever u ready)

24 comments:

trixirt said...

I'm lucky enough to still be on a plan where incoming texts are free (if they weren't, how would you get rid of them without reading them, which is what I would do). if I ever feel the strong need to reply to a text (I never forward and always brake chains even the ones that say please 4 times), then I go to my computer and im their phone.

In brief, I have never text anyone (except once, and that was from my friend's phone)

doodlehead said...

what company?

doodlehead said...

offers free incoming?

xirtrix said...

old at&t plan. you can't get it anymore. is there a way not to read them so you don't have to pay?

shalva said...

You're funny. Yeah. That's about all I have to say on the matter.

ski said...

I won't be insulted since I was never given your cell phone number. I can't call to wish you good yom tov or swarm you more with texts.

doodlehead said...

XtrxitritxtrxirxtiX- yeah, thats wird that they havent updated yet. right now theres no company that offers free incoming. No once u get it u got it. shalv- u can say that u agree. or disagree. or totally indifferent.or that u think txt messages are the cause of all the worlds problems including the depleting ozone layer. swski- i am grateful u didnt swarm me with txts, if you feel its necessary to wish me good yomtov (its nice, but unecessary, like most things people insist on doing) there are ways of contacting me, or getting my number. i hope u had a nice r'h.

shalva said...

I don't care about the rapid depletion of O3. I do sympathize with your text message problem, as I was in the same boat until recently. But this morning, after reading your blog, it dawned on me that I hadn't received a single text in 2 weeks. This seemed rather strange to me, as I am (almost) as popular as you. I speedily dialed those lovely peeps at Cingular, only to be informed that they'd shut down my ability to send/receive texts. How strange. This is a great way to avoid your issue, though. Nip the root of the problem in the bud. I do thank you for being the cause of this grand awakening, though, and it's now thanks to you that I've had the option to send SMS messages reactivated. Gee thanks.

doodlehead said...

thanks, that would be a great idea, except for the occasional important/funny txt mssg that I get. (like every couple of hundred or so) I leave it on just for those couple. Its not always so bad, just whenever theres a malaria outbreak, and peopel are getting sick all over the place, or some genius has a brainstorm at 3 in the morning "hey, let me txt doodl that 'Breaking news: wood has just declared war on the termites.An all out offense has begun on the northern corner, third shelf of the bookcase. Danger lurks'", or just some random observation on dogs pooping habits. Those are the messages that should have the thing where u gotta type in some letters and numbers that make u feel like ur on a psychedelic drug. (u kno what I mean, when they tell u to verify that ur not a computer) maybe that would discourage wanton txt mssgng. Oh and ur welcome,if u get any really annoying ones please dont fwd it 2 me.

ski said...

Yes I had a nice r''h so what are the other ways of contacting you lol?

rix said...

they updated, but we didn't :). till we upgrade we get to keep our old plan with all the good old stuff. there isn't a better priced plan which is free from 7 which is why we keep it.

shalva said...

"Breaking news: wood has just declared war on the termites. An all out offense has begun on the northern corner, third shelf of the bookcase. Danger lurks."Ok. That's an excellent one. I am definitely going to forward this to about 5 friends now. I'm just not sure if I'll be able to contain myself for 4 hours and hold off until 3 a.m., the most opportune moment to alarm my dear friends about such a high alert.

doodlehead said...

ski- besides for the simple way of finding out my number (asking someone who knows it) there are many wonderful ways of contacting me. theres email,which is sorta like regular mail but theres no licking involved, (like envelopes, or stamps, or mailmen- dont ask)theres pm, thers im (if i ever figure out how 2 sign up)theres telegraph(i dont think i ever got one of those) theres carrier pigeon (fun if you have an umbrella) telepathy (i love getting telepathic mail) You can also wait around for a big crime to happen (if there isnt one forthcoming, commit one urself)and when the tv reporters get there, you stand behind them holding a big sign wishing me a good yom yov. ritx- very very wise. or as a very smart man once said 'he who uses the gooey matter in his head, in quicksand he will never tread' shalv- Ahh! ur one of them. wtvr u do please dont fwd it 2 me.

shalva said...

I just realized something weird. I automatically type my name as Shalva. Why do I do that? It's not even my name. Weird. At work today I licked about 1000 envelopes in a row, and by the time I was done, it was time to check my tongue into major rehab. That's a lot of chemicals we're talking about. My fam once got a telegraph by the way. They do exist. Telepathy does, too. Take it from one who knows. And no, D-head, I'm not one of those, but I did send that message to my bro, who responded with "What are you smoking????!!!!!"

trix said...

shalv, I do that too (type my name as trix automatically, not shalva, unless I'm in a mood to mix up the letters or something) and trix isn't my name either

doodlehead said...

yeah thats what happens. u become ur screen name. and i feel real bad for your tongue, next time (big secret coming up)use a sponge. ye, i kno telepathy works, thats why i suggested it. (im sending u a telepathic message right now, let me know if u got it,im a little out of practice).And what did u answer bro? interestingly my bro once asked me to make up some random text mesages to send to his friends who were harrassing him. (he had an ulimited txt plan) and the replies he got were the exact same thing 'what are you smoking' (the answers i gave him were very confusing i think, most of them gave up immediately and he received no more txt that day)

shalvashainahisbonenus said...

i answered him something about sniffing too much deoderant in the morning. i didn't allow your telepathic message to infiltrate the barriers i've created in my mind, as it costs 10 cents for each message sent to my brain, as well. and i'm cheap. sowwy...

doodlehead said...

aha that was my message! exactly! wow, ur better then me at telepathy! I wasnt able to read more then 1 word at a time, or a couple of numbers. And that was after a few hours of practice. U think sniffing deoderant will help me attain the telepatic levels u'v reached?

shaina said...

maybe if you use axe

trix said...

shalvs, someone told me you are really wasting your cents sending that message around.

shaina said...

lol trix i sent it to my bro and to to her. i guess i've become text happy now that my texting ability has been returned to me. i should probably go and have it deactivated again.

doodlehead said...

i do use axe. maybe i should spray it directly into my nostrils and concentrate. oh and about ur txt mssg, have no fear, i made sure it made its way around the world (after s/o saw it on my phone and asked me 2 fwd it, and he's one of those fwd-wtvr-u-have-in-inbox ppl, so u have big zchusim on ur hands)and i even said some tehilim.

doodlehead said...

and yes you probably should get it deactivated again.

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