posted Friday, 22 September 2006
To all those really nice people who send me thousands of txt messsages daily.
After my cellphone company raised the prices a while back on text messages, I started getting all of those 'please daven for shprintza ben chaim sara, dont break the chain' messages, and all those real funny jokes like 'why did the gum cross the road, cuz it was stuck to the chickens foot'. Its obvious that the cellphone company started the fwding cuz they want more money. All theyd have to do would be to send it to one of those guys that always feels he has to fwd anything in his inbox (even "are you finished in there? theres a long line and Im gonna end up going in my pants.") to his entire contact list, and instantly they make a couple of hundred bucks(or more depending on how many people still feel threatened by "dont break the chain") I didnt mind though, occasionally I got a good joke that would make me crack up in middle of shul, and I would often actually daaven that people shouldnt get sick, (I had to shell out like 50 bucks a month in refuah shlaima text messages. Who wouldnt daven after that?)
I would like to ask all those wonderful people who havent sent me the rosh hashana text messages yet to kindly send them to your cell phone service provider (if anyone deserves to be swamped with witty messages its them) This also goes for anyone who sent me already and has some more pearls of wisdom to share. I thank you for the 349 times I have got chsima vchisma tova (in about almost as many different variations in spelling) the good year wishes,the sweet year wishes, the wishes to stay safely out of prison, the complete lyrics for dip the apple in the honey song (the guy who started that one really knew his stuff) and yes everyone I'm mochel you,although theres nobody in the world who has actually done something to me that I actually remembered for the length of time that I could hold my breath. Why would I respond to any of the'R u mochel me' messages? If you really fooled yourself into thinking you have "said or done anything that may have hurt me" then you should probably give me a call, wouldnt you say? If I felt I'd wronged someone I'd call them (call. I said call. remember that) theres no need to inform me about how generously you are being mochel me in txt mssg langwge.
I hope everyone has a good yom tov. (if u want a personal good yom tov wish give me a call, my company policy this year is "let everyone else do the calling" this goes for people like you-the one who leaves voice mails only during the wee hours of the morning when I am fast asleep, attacking me for never picking up my phone, and trying to compete with a better rapper, sorry sonnyboy we'll battle whenever u ready)