Todays Plans

he snickered maniacally, rubbing his hands together, as he attached the blue wire to the one that buzzed and sparked every time a gust of wind caught it. "this time the tomatoes will certainly splat on the unsuspecting head of those mean motorcyclists.....


posted Thursday, 4 January 2007

This shabbos is the first shabbos in about 2 months that I'm gonna be home in yerushalayim. I couldve gone with some friends who are going to all sorts of exciting places. (those with and without rockets) but a friend of mine is having his afruf this shabbos, so I'm gonna stay. Some of my relatives seem to be getting a little anxious for me to come for a shabbos. But I like anxious relatives. The more anxious the better. I think I have too many relatives anyway. I think I'm gonna start selling them. They're all tons of fun. So they're gonna be expensive. (my little bro in israel, whos definitely reading this,might be sold and he should consider himself warned, and should start quivering in his clicky shoes. Right about now. Theres no reason for his sale, except that he'd probably fetch a lot on the pre-owned relatives market, and I need cash. Nothing personal.)

In other news (related slightly but I forgot how) I decided that if I forget something important one more time, I'm gonna get a tattoo of a string tied around my finger, so I'll never forget anything ever again. If that wont work, I may just wedge one of those dino bones through my nose as an even more noticeable reminder. Its happened way to many times that I walk over to the fridge, open it, stare at the contents for ten minutes racking my brains to try to remember why I'm standing there, replay the events of the last five minutes before I walked to the fridge, and only then remember that I was heading to the bathroom. Or vice versa, standing with the bathroom door open staring at the contents (toilet paper, newspaper, toilet, shower, mold, mold, a cute furry creature with an adorable smile, someone trying to beat the cute furry creature to death with a plunger and a plastic soup spoon, someone capturing the epic battle on camera, someone laughing at the cute furry creatures continuous victory and getting his camera hit with the plunger, then somebody avenges his camera by giving the plunger fellow a giant swirly, while cute furry creature smiles its adorable smile in appreciation, and claps its adorable paws together) only to remember that I was heading for the fridge. If the bone wont work I may do the hubcap in the ear approach. All those people featured in national geographic, probably never forget anything. Even their anniversaries, or birthdays, and other stuff that is completely useless to remember, but people are always insisting that you do. Otherwise they'll chop you up in a blender, with decaf.