forgive me for not recognizing u. u didnt have the horns last time i saw u.
*
r they a new addition? hows ur family and friends taking the change? how do u take showers with them?
did u have 2 cut holes in ur baseball cap, or do they tuck underneath nicely? can u get horns peirced? have u ever head butted anyone with them? if yes was said person hospitalized? what about tight rope walking? has ur ability to do so improved or worsened since their growth? tell me!
woa - I've just been hit with an overdose of questions. One at a time, now: No, they are not a new addition. My fam/friends do not have to worry about the change, as it is not a change. I generally try NOT to shower with my friends/fam, so that's not a problem. I don't wear baseball caps, as my hair won't fit under one, forget about the cow stuff. I don't have my ears pierced, forget about horns, but I suppose one could, technically, get them pierced. Butt's a bad word. I've caused too many people to be hospitalized to count. Tight rope walking is for sissies - I do far cooler stunts. My abilities are always improving, though in which direction, I am still unsure. I'm telling you! (What else did you need to know?)
what about helmets?do u wear one 4 ur stunts or does horns/hair get in the way?what about in movies, does everyone say "down in front", or "take off that stupid viking helmet,u dont even look scary"?do people practice ring toss game on ur head?and if yes, do u bite them? have u ever used ur horns 2 terrorize guard 2 let u in without paying admission?and those countless ppl in hospital have they ever threatened 2 turn u into steak, or sent family members after u w/pitchforks?
iv gots lots more questions, but i dont wanna annoy anyone with 2 sharp pointy horns and a bunch of sorry victims. i find it hard 2 contain myself tho, i just never knew a cow reads my blog.
Unfortunately, d-head, none of your questions apply. You see, I have just been slaughtered. The rabbi made a quick blessing, and he then immediately chopped my head off, horns, pink-glasses, and all. They've now dumped my less-attractive parts in the trash, where the flies have proceeded to swarm lovingly around me, begging for my autograph. The other parts of me have been packaged nicely, and are now in display in the grocery store, as if they were the featured attraction at a museum. Hopefully, I'll end up in someone's cholent this shabbos. Any more questions?
oh no, off? like at the neck? pink glasses and all? how could they? a sweet pink glasses wearer, just snuffed out because of a vile invention like cholent. Oh woe is us, we have a lost such a gentle and innocent creature, the cow with an attitude. what will we do? were will we turn? all is lost, we are reduced to ordinary cows w/o glasses and photo shoots. oh, 1 more question, do u have a preference what kind of cholent u wanna be in?
Indeed, d-head. The decapitation of one as sweet as me is truly a loss. As to what kind of cholent I'd like to be in, idealy, it would be on a slice of pizza, but as that would be treif, I'll have to settle for one of those yeshiva-guys-in-the-dorm-h omemade-concoctions-with-hotdogs-and -potato-chips.
Uh oh. It's doing it again. Posting my comments repeatedly. And I spelled homemade with a space after the h for some reason. How mortifying. And I changed my mind as to the cholent I'd like to be in. I want to be marinated in chocolate syrup, peanut butter, and caramel. Thanks.
you can mix both for double deliciousness, (concoction cholent+hotdogs, potato chips, caramel, peanut butter,chocolate syrup) and for good measure add mayo and duck sauce and youll be a real tasty cholent.
This blog is my diary. Its what I read when I want to remember. You're invited to read it, make comments, and blackmail me to give you my credit card number and bank information. Really. Ok fine, maybe not. At least feel free to read and comment.
Oh, and Ani tapuach! אני תפוחLately it seems that I'm too freakin busy to update. Thus the genius that flows from my head into my life will be lost forever. Alas. One can't expect to remember everything. Perhaps I shall hire a film crew or a photographer to document my life for posterity. Or maybe I'll have to make some time to update. The latter option may or may not involve a few deaths, and perhaps a small explosion or two every few days in a shopping mall. I will think of something. I usually do...
16 comments:
How incredibly sweet and thoughtful - you dedicated a blog post to me. Awww... I'm absolutely touched.
I did? oh. are u in 1 of the pics?
the one with the funky pink heart glasses and hairy nostrils. duh.
forgive me for not recognizing u. u didnt have the horns last time i saw u.
*
r they a new addition? hows ur family and friends taking the change? how do u take showers with them?
did u have 2 cut holes in ur baseball cap, or do they tuck underneath nicely? can u get horns peirced? have u ever head butted anyone with them? if yes was said person hospitalized? what about tight rope walking? has ur ability to do so improved or worsened since their growth? tell me!
woa - I've just been hit with an overdose of questions. One at a time, now: No, they are not a new addition. My fam/friends do not have to worry about the change, as it is not a change. I generally try NOT to shower with my friends/fam, so that's not a problem. I don't wear baseball caps, as my hair won't fit under one, forget about the cow stuff. I don't have my ears pierced, forget about horns, but I suppose one could, technically, get them pierced. Butt's a bad word. I've caused too many people to be hospitalized to count. Tight rope walking is for sissies - I do far cooler stunts. My abilities are always improving, though in which direction, I am still unsure. I'm telling you! (What else did you need to know?)
what about helmets?do u wear one 4 ur stunts or does horns/hair get in the way?what about in movies, does everyone say "down in front", or "take off that stupid viking helmet,u dont even look scary"?do people practice ring toss game on ur head?and if yes, do u bite them? have u ever used ur horns 2 terrorize guard 2 let u in without paying admission?and those countless ppl in hospital have they ever threatened 2 turn u into steak, or sent family members after u w/pitchforks?
iv gots lots more questions, but i dont wanna annoy anyone with 2 sharp pointy horns and a bunch of sorry victims. i find it hard 2 contain myself tho, i just never knew a cow reads my blog.
Unfortunately, d-head, none of your questions apply. You see, I have just been slaughtered. The rabbi made a quick blessing, and he then immediately chopped my head off, horns, pink-glasses, and all. They've now dumped my less-attractive parts in the trash, where the flies have proceeded to swarm lovingly around me, begging for my autograph. The other parts of me have been packaged nicely, and are now in display in the grocery store, as if they were the featured attraction at a museum. Hopefully, I'll end up in someone's cholent this shabbos. Any more questions?
Love that pic
oh no, off? like at the neck? pink glasses and all? how could they? a sweet pink glasses wearer, just snuffed out because of a vile invention like cholent. Oh woe is us, we have a lost such a gentle and innocent creature, the cow with an attitude. what will we do? were will we turn? all is lost, we are reduced to ordinary cows w/o glasses and photo shoots. oh, 1 more question, do u have a preference what kind of cholent u wanna be in?
Indeed, d-head. The decapitation of one as sweet as me is truly a loss. As to what kind of cholent I'd like to be in, idealy, it would be on a slice of pizza, but as that would be treif, I'll have to settle for one of those yeshiva-guys-in-the-dorm-h omemade-concoctions-with-hotdogs-and -potato-chips.
Uh oh. It's doing it again. Posting my comments repeatedly. And I spelled homemade with a space after the h for some reason. How mortifying. And I changed my mind as to the cholent I'd like to be in. I want to be marinated in chocolate syrup, peanut butter, and caramel. Thanks.
you can mix both for double deliciousness, (concoction cholent+hotdogs, potato chips, caramel, peanut butter,chocolate syrup) and for good measure add mayo and duck sauce and youll be a real tasty cholent.
Wow. He called me a tasty cholent. I couldn't ask for a better compliment.
Quite literally, yes.
did you find your way into the cholent of your choice, or did you accidentally get stuck in the crossfire of a food fight?
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