The doodle ABC's
Last night we decide to go to a wedding. 5 guys packed into Jay's elderly car, and off we went. On the way there it stalled on the highway a buncha times. Jay (with the help of his backseat drivers) figured that if he kept a foot on the gas and when he wanted to avoid speeding up put the car in neutral, we would be ok. We made it there ok.
The wedding was beautiful, the band awesome, the food delicious, and the drinks flowing. But I am proud to say, I was sober for the first wedding in a couple of years. (although this wasnt entirely by choice, someone drank my drinks, and I only had about 6 shots before then.) So I enjoyed the food and dancing instead. It was very nice.
So now we're heading back, Jay was way too gone to drive, and we had one guy who made sure not to drink at all. We couldnt have been going for more then a couple of minutes when we stalled. This sober guy had no clue how to do the neutral thing, so we couldnt go a block without stalling. So we let Jay take the wheel, he may be drunk but at least he could pull off the neutral thing. (the only other guy with stalling experience had just as much, or more to drink then he did) So we're going for a while and the engine decided it had enough and kaplooie, that was it. It wasnt gonna start again. So first thing we do is pop the hood. (mechanic of the group decided it was the alternator already, but it looks cool to pop the hood and lean over the engine with your sleeves rolled up) First person we call is chaveirim. (no, not a not prank call to pizza hut and see if theyll deliver to our location, that was second.) To entertain myself while we waited for chaverim, I started doing cartwheels back and forth across the intersection, whenever the light was red. Seeing the other rmotorists faces, It was as if theyd never seen someone cartwheel across a street at 2 am. After getting tired of that we decided to split up, some guys would stay with the car and some would jog around, exploring the wonderful neighborhood we happened to break down in.
To make a rather boring story a little more bearable, when we came back to the car ,chaveirim was already there. (the first non chasidish chaver that I'd ever seen) He helped us start the engine and advised us to do the netral thing. We thanked him, and he even followed us to make sure we were all right. The problem was as we approached the tollbooth. "Jay, dont get nervous, but we are approaching a toll booth. Its swarming with cops and if you stall they'll come over and smell the alcohol on your breath. Just keep calm and on the gas." Instructed the guy with the experience. "oh, I just remembered" said Jay, "I left my license in my other pants". "great, now we have DWI, and no license, I wonder what the fine for that is" anyway we made it without incident, although we breezed by inches from the cops curious nose. Thank g-d it didnt stall too many more times till we got pulled into the driveway. But we made it.
16 comments:
OMG I seriously was rolling when you talked about your cartwheels. That is the funniest thing in the world. (whether it was true or not)Something about this post made me read every single word. I felt like I couldn't miss one word each part of the story was unique and hillarious. This was veeeeeeeeery entertaining.
This post takes the cake. Now I have to decide who gets the award you or cellar for his coke post.
its a 100% true. (although I didnt do it for that long my shoulders were starting to hurt)
Wow - I'm totally with SW. I wish I was there to see you cartwheel accross the street. And I'm convinced that u and cellar door are the same person. And congrats for not drinking too much - though 6 shots is not nothing.
I can vouch that they are not the same person but shalva that was very funny of you to say that. Wow you really did the cartwheels where is the cam when you really need it. That is the best.
cartwheels arent that big a deal. U should have seen the mechanic guy of the group, he was break dancing, and flipping on the side of the street and hanging sideways off a street sign. (we were coming from a wedding, remember) shalv- unfortunately I have 2 do a lot more then 6 to feel anything.
thank god I wasn't on the road last night. and I don't get it that someone drank your drinks, you couldn't get more? and I suspect that the moterists thought you were drunk.
i could have but it wouldnt been what i like. i had the last of it and and i look away for a minute and someone helps himself. i had a great time anyway-im naturally high.
See peoples. Doodle actually leads a classic yeshiva uy life. I lead a boring life. Plus I think doodle is hilarious. I remember the dorming dayz.
(Though you did remind me of a wedding i went to a few weeks back where we were stuck in traffic, and the guy who drove was so angry he said " that accident better be worth it". as we passed the smashed up overturned taxi he said alriiiight awesome". Sick. Even sicker I never laughed so hard in my life. Im telling you they spiked the alcohol with something.)
*relief* im not the only one to do cartwheels past midnight on dark streets..
see? its perfectly normal behavior.
You are lucky doodle that you were not grabbed off the road to be taken to the circus with your great talents.
a circus kidnapping me would really not be the end of the world.as long as they feed me lots of peanuts. and if i have to perform im sure i could just ride an elephant or learn 2 play harmonica with my nose or something. and il get 2 see what clowns really look like behind the paint.
Glad you liked that image. Maybe you could apply at least you could be the clown.
dUi...
Why is my life so boring?
i dont know much about ur life, but im sure if u started going around in skis and a kilt, life would start becoming much more interesting. (and if ur a girl also get one of those hats with the whole fruit platter on top)
Post a Comment