Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Posters

With me. Grinning. laughing. smiling. its enough to give anyone a heart attack


posted Wednesday, 7 February 2007



I'm not sure when, but sometimes soon my smiling big face is gonna be plastered all over the city. (not my actual face, that would hurt if I got it plastered all over the city, and plaster doesnt come out of ears easily) Yesterday, I modeled for some posters. Chances are if you walk down a street like geula in the sometime near future, you'll see millions of me staring at you. But dont panic. Panicking never helped anybody. If you dont find my advice helpful, and you still want to panic, then feel free to panic. Run down the street waving your arms and screaming as loud as you can. Then start throwing whatever you can get your hands on, and doesnt react violently to being thrown. (biting and clawing isnt what we term 'violently' so feel free to throw your little brother. Unless he's like my little brother and has a small arsenal at his disposal, in which case getting a grenade or a chain saw lobbed down your pants definitely qualifies as violently and youre gonna wanna avoid throwing him.) Smash things and light things on fire. If you can, blow stuff up. Resist arrest. Knock the cop on the head with something hard that managed to escape getting thrown when you first starting panicking. Take the other cops hat away and throw it into the bushes. Laugh maniacally. Run real fast when backup shows up.But only if you werent able to steal a motorcycle. Spend all your time in prison rattling the bars and howling. When trial time comes and the insanity plea gets rejected, (if) you can place the blame on my shoulders. (plenty of room. 'these shoulders hold up so much they wont budge, even if my collarbone's crushed or crumbled I would never slip or stumble cuz I'm a soldier) Explain that you were under the influence of doodle's posters and are completely not responsible for any actions that you may have accidentally resulted while in a state of panic (except that one involving a grenade getting chucked down somebodies pants, theres gotta be a line drawn somewhere) Make sure you can produce a copy of the poster for the jury to see for themselves. So steal one right when the ads go up. This way when the courtroom sees the poster and they go into panic stage, and you finished ducking the thrown objects (that hammer of the judge has got a wicked edge, so make sure that misses you) you can make your escape right before the courtroom gets blown up. If the jury just looks blankly at you, and the old guy (the one with the ridiculous mustache, and who does all the talking for the rest of the courtroom, I think he likes being called prosecutor) asks you if you're joking, and you know he's not gonna be the one to panic (however many grenades get stuffed down his pants) then at least you have a nice poster to hang on your drab cell walls. I'll even stop by to visit (and watch you panicking up and down your cell, throwing your teddy bear at the bars, and saying 'boom' in a loud voice, while I pass the popcorn around to the rest of the spectators) and maybe even to autograph it.

As for shabbos my plans for this shabbos are up in the air right now.(weird, huh?) So I can be anywhere. (hopefully somewhere fun and exciting, but you never know) I should end up deciding before shkia friday night. Thats the initial plan for now. (I think I'm getting the hang of this planning in advance thing, I'd start doing it more often, except that it would remove a lot of the fun out of stuff. Except in the planning to blow stuff up planning beforehand thing.Thats always fun.)

18 comments:

tova said...

I hear all the screaming and shouting in NY...Doodle gets plastered and chaos ensues.

doodlehead said...

:) I wasnt plastered yet. Its just some ads, theres no drinking involved. I hope plenty of chaos tho.

sammy said...

your a total nut job and i love reading your blog. i dont think your mind works the same way as mine and most other people. unless your not a "people" but rather an alien sent here to cause mass chaos among the humans...did u ever wonder why theres one calorie in pepsi max? and how theres one calorie in the can and one in the bottle even tho the bottle is much bigger than the can!! sometimes when i swallow i think i can feel the calorie getting stuck in my throat..its weird..i think they steal calories from those low fat chips which is why the calorie is so crunchy..i like sandwiches too. also is there any color like a sound?

doodlehead said...

whoa, way 2 many hard questions. (just remember. Na na nach man nach man meuman.)a color of a sound depends on what its a sound of.

shaina said...

What color would the sound of Shaina laughing be?

And would you do me a favor and take down one of the posters and send it my way?

doodlehead said...

if it was a belly laugh (green)it would be darker then a giggle. (orange) how much laughing r u asking? bli neder. it would defeat the whole purpose of the ads- to advertise and not be taken down. i'll try to get the extras tho.

teddydouglas said...

Doodle what are you advertising with that sleek form of yours on the walls of geulah? And aren't you worried that all the sems will beat a path to your door for autographs? Sammy - pretty good imitation, but nothing beats the original.

doodlehead said...

its ads for a restaurant i think.and i think its gonna b everywhere not just geula.they arent gonna be up for a while they still have to be printed and stuff. im not so worried. i like signing autographs. it makes me feel important. if anyone can find my door, and actually beat a path, they definitely deserve an autograph.

ski said...

Wow didn't know you were a model can't wait to see you plastered.

doodlehead said...

i'm not. well not really. it was the first time i did this. (one other time i was almost in one of those famous ooraah posters, but i didnt end up doing it)yeh, everyone like seeing me plastered.

ski said...

Listen doodl no need to be so modest really....

doodlehead said...

modest, me? i'm the most modest guy around ;)he he.

trix said...

re:plastered, right,I hear you do cartwheels

doodlehead said...

ye. aval ma hakesher? plastered?

oongy said...

hey i understand that language, watch yourself.

doodlehead said...

who me?

oongy said...

yeah, just warning you not to say any secrets because i understand. don't try french either.

doodlehead said...

i wouldnt try french. besides 4 the fact that u kno it fluently, i only kno about 20 words,(not including curse words)and none of them would make sense in a secret.