With me. Grinning. laughing. smiling. its enough to give anyone a heart attack
posted Wednesday, 7 February 2007
I'm not sure when, but sometimes soon my smiling big face is gonna be plastered all over the city. (not my actual face, that would hurt if I got it plastered all over the city, and plaster doesnt come out of ears easily) Yesterday, I modeled for some posters. Chances are if you walk down a street like geula in the sometime near future, you'll see millions of me staring at you. But dont panic. Panicking never helped anybody. If you dont find my advice helpful, and you still want to panic, then feel free to panic. Run down the street waving your arms and screaming as loud as you can. Then start throwing whatever you can get your hands on, and doesnt react violently to being thrown. (biting and clawing isnt what we term 'violently' so feel free to throw your little brother. Unless he's like my little brother and has a small arsenal at his disposal, in which case getting a grenade or a chain saw lobbed down your pants definitely qualifies as violently and youre gonna wanna avoid throwing him.) Smash things and light things on fire. If you can, blow stuff up. Resist arrest. Knock the cop on the head with something hard that managed to escape getting thrown when you first starting panicking. Take the other cops hat away and throw it into the bushes. Laugh maniacally. Run real fast when backup shows up.But only if you werent able to steal a motorcycle. Spend all your time in prison rattling the bars and howling. When trial time comes and the insanity plea gets rejected, (if) you can place the blame on my shoulders. (plenty of room. 'these shoulders hold up so much they wont budge, even if my collarbone's crushed or crumbled I would never slip or stumble cuz I'm a soldier) Explain that you were under the influence of doodle's posters and are completely not responsible for any actions that you may have accidentally resulted while in a state of panic (except that one involving a grenade getting chucked down somebodies pants, theres gotta be a line drawn somewhere) Make sure you can produce a copy of the poster for the jury to see for themselves. So steal one right when the ads go up. This way when the courtroom sees the poster and they go into panic stage, and you finished ducking the thrown objects (that hammer of the judge has got a wicked edge, so make sure that misses you) you can make your escape right before the courtroom gets blown up. If the jury just looks blankly at you, and the old guy (the one with the ridiculous mustache, and who does all the talking for the rest of the courtroom, I think he likes being called prosecutor) asks you if you're joking, and you know he's not gonna be the one to panic (however many grenades get stuffed down his pants) then at least you have a nice poster to hang on your drab cell walls. I'll even stop by to visit (and watch you panicking up and down your cell, throwing your teddy bear at the bars, and saying 'boom' in a loud voice, while I pass the popcorn around to the rest of the spectators) and maybe even to autograph it.
As for shabbos my plans for this shabbos are up in the air right now.(weird, huh?) So I can be anywhere. (hopefully somewhere fun and exciting, but you never know) I should end up deciding before shkia friday night. Thats the initial plan for now. (I think I'm getting the hang of this planning in advance thing, I'd start doing it more often, except that it would remove a lot of the fun out of stuff. Except in the planning to blow stuff up planning beforehand thing.Thats always fun.)