Dear Mister President,
We'd like to invite you to our apartment for the duration of your stay in Israel. You're guaranteed to have a great time. Come over, don't be shy. We'll pop open a few beers, play some guitar(we can play country if you like), smoke some hookah and eat garinim(its yummy, dont worry, you'll see). Chill. Have a great time. We don't wanna discuss politics, it would be a great way for you to relax and take a little break. Theres room for you and one other secret service agent to sleep (as we only have two couches) but theres plenty of room to hang. This is a serious invitation and we are not making jokes. I'm sure you would enjoy hanging out with us, and checking out our living quarters. You can use our DSL line if you have any calls you want to make to America, but we hope you'd rather chill than be involved in business. We'd love to take you around the area, show you some good places to eat, and just enjoy life a little as an American in Israel. You can contact me either via email, or my cell. (0546621254 in Israel)Please do not hesitate, our home is open to you.
Waiting for your call
Doodlehead and friends
PS If you have a chance, please pick up two cartons of reds and a bottle of jack from duty free for us. Don't worry we'll pay you back.