Milk mustaches

Today I have discovered yet another great thing about sefira beards. (I seem to do that every sfira, complain about how much I cant stand my beard, how I wanna cut it off and throw it off a very high creaky bridge right this second, but go on to say one wonderful thing that its good for) Last time it was the fact that you can store food in it for later when you get hungry, and the fact that it can be used as a towel. This time its something even cooler- milk mustaches.
Its always annoying when you try to make an ad of yourself doing something really crazy while wearing a milk mustache, and wearing a 'got milk?' sign. The milk fades away about a quarter of a second after you drink it. Try getting a picture of that (while hanging upside down off an electric wire. And yes I know the real ads dont use milk, but thats not authentic so you wont catch me doing something as sneaky and underhanded as that)Now thanks to sfira beard the milk mustache stays on a lot longer. It gives the added couple of seconds that you need to take the picture real fast before the fire department (or worse, the guy whos motorcycle you just stole) can catch you.

Lawsuit

The State of Israel is suing halu taiman. Halu taiman is a shwarma joint in Jerusalem, reputed to have the best shwarma on this side of the kotel. While this may or may not be true, the lawsuit is (according to my various well placed sources, who may or may not be very high and eating mixtures of live and dead spiders)definitely happening. This has relevance because besides for having good shwarma, the first 10 thousand tapuach stickers had written on the bottom "sponsored by halu taiman". The goverment is suing because tapuachs are all over federal property. Wherever there is federal property(and where there isnt) there is a buncha cute little stickers (or spray paint)claiming that this traffic light thinks he's an apple, and insists that his state of confusion is sponsored by halu taiman.
If you ask me my opinion (never recommended unless you got lotsa time on your hands, and arent freaked out by pure insanity) the lawsuit doesnt have a chance. Besides for claiming that they never even sponsored it (not gonna comment on the validity of such a claim. I still like schwarma) they can easily point out in court that if they give out promotional bumper stickers its not their fault that a group of total madmen kidnapped the truckload when their backs were turned (or just received complimentary stickers with their laffa, whichever the lawyers think will work) and stuck them over every spare inch of civilization worldwide. Either way I dont think the governemnt can possibly think they're gonna win, I wonder what their objective is.

An update

Cuz if I didnt I would probably wake up dead one morning with an assassins bullet lodged in my cranium.

Lots happening and not much time to talk. Israel is just out of control awesome. Today is yom hatzmaot. Thats the july 4th of Israel except its not on july 4th. Its not even in july. The weather is though. After getting snowed on a whole month in america, its great to finally have some sun and sky and sweat.
Here are some pics of a tank with an identity crisis.



אני תפוח Ani tapuach

Back

In Israel finally. Its great to be back. Spent the whole flight drinking with my catholic seatmate. After answering all his questions I was suddenly promoted to official spokesperson for all the jews on the plane. Every old lady seemed to feel that I'm the person to ask her judaism questions to. Its not like there werent any other jews. (I noticed cuz by the minyanim there were millions of 'em. And because of the screaming baby syndrome, oh yeah and cuz I can smell a jew a mile a way. Theyre the ones who wear the hats and cover their hair)

Homeward Bound

Heading back to Israel in three days. I have decided that if humans were created to pack before traveling they would be born with a little duffel and carry-on. Therefore I just won't. (the trick is never to UNpack in the first place. In the last 8 years or so of always traveling Ive lived partly out of my suitcase, and partly in my suitcase. Its easy just cut air holes and you're good to go)

In regard to the now worldwide tapuach campaign, there seems to be some confusion. I will explain but listen up cuz I'm only gonna say this once (now that should really confuse everyone, I'm typing not saying and you can read this as many times as you like, I wont stop you. Go. Read this a couple of thousand times. Not only will you be wasting lots of time, and giving yourself and your shrink a double migraine, you will also not be getting this any clearer. ) The stickers have nothing,I repeat (and for those of you re re re re re re reading this YOU repeat) nothing to do with the story. That was just how the song got composed. Only after the song was composed did the movement get started.(and after the code in davinci code was revealed wink wink) Thankyou for your time.

The New Blog

This is it. Welcome.
I hope they dont quit on me too, or I may have to do something drastic.Its great to have a blog that isnt gonna self destruct.Or that makes you do math problems before comenting. (for those of you who miss the math heres one for old times sake. 72 1/2 times 8.3. enjoy)
Pesach was wonderful. I cant wait to head back to Israel in week. over and out for now.

Ok Ok

You talked me into it. I'l update.

posted Sunday, 1 April 2007

Today I decided my room has to be cleaned for pesach. (or it was decided for me by some very unhappy parental units) Therefore I will (bli neder) be cleaning my room sometime today/tonight instead of waiting for the last minute (as in 3 minutes before shkia on erev pesach) like I usually do.

The tapuach campaign has spread all over the globe. There are tapuch stickers in all sorts of exciting countries. (if you ever make it to the red light district in amsterdam, you will see tapuach stickers.) We just need volunteers to get to the moon, and we'll have most of our galaxy covered.